Keep Talking
by Ysolde
Summary: Bors talks of Tristran. Yes, the title is after the Pink Floyd song.


_**Usual disclaimers apply.**_

_**For millions of years, mankind lived just like the animals. Then something happened, which unleashed the power of our imagination : we learned to talk. It doesn't have to be like this. All we need to do, is make sure we keep talking. (Stephen Hawking, in 'Keep Talking' by Pink Floyd)**_

* * *

So!

You want to know why Tristran sleeps over there all alone, do you, kid?

I'll tell you why sure enough, though you have to promise me not to let 'im know I did. In fact, if it gets to me ear that he heard I did, I'll know where it came from, and you'll be sorry yer mother gave birth to you. All right?

Good. Now that's settled, give us a piece of that tasty roast here, an' I'll share me knowledge with you.

Now, you've seen 'im on the field of battle, aye? Swear to Anu herself, he 's the finest I ever saw. Ain't no one can gut a woad with such elegance, not even blessed Caius. An' that's sayin' somethin', am I right, Dag?

Ach, never mind him, he's all gloomy looks an' no action old Dag is. I've been tryin' to fix him up with a good girl fer years, but all he ever does is give me that look – thass right, _that _one there, an' it's come to the point where I wonder if he's got somethin' to hide, or... HEY, MIND WHERE YOU THROW THAT!

_Pah!_Now he's gonna sulk all night.

Anyway. I digress.

See, as I was sayin', Tristran is the man to go to, when it comes to gettin' the information or hittin' the target – yeah, you're good kid, but you're not as good as 'im, an' you'll jus' have to forgive me fer sayin' that. Anyway, all that, and scarin' the livin' daylights out o' his mates wi' that silent-as-a-cat routine o' his. Yep, an' the killin'. No one does it the way Tris does.

And all this, Tristran can do, an' better'n anyone else here, let me tell you that, but the talkin' – that's another matter.

The talkin' an' the trustin'.

Me, I've learnt not to take it personal. See, I _know_ his life would be miserable if Van an' me din't look after 'im somewhat. An' he gives somethin' back the ways he can. An' if push came to shove, hell, he'd just _have _to trust us, an' I hope he would. But I cannae say fer certain. That's just part an' parcel o' the bargain with 'im. But I know he'd never wanna hurt 'is mates, or Van or the kids, an' that's enough fer me.

An' you see, that's the very reason why he sleeps over there.

Now it's taken me some time piecin' things together, but I think I've gotten the gist. You see, kid, when he's out there alone, fishin' out the information fer Artorius an' the rest o' us, he's alone._Alone, _see?

An' the gods know the man isn't exactly a natural wi' the other-people thing in the first place. Sometimes I think he cares more for the squawkin' o' that fowl o' hs, than the opinion of any man – though I wouldn't be too quick 'bout the women, I mean, he is human after all. Least as far's I know.

But anyway. He's all alone out there, sometimes fer weeks on end, an I've noticed that when 'e comes back he's weird. Well, weirder than normal.

An' sometimes, I reckon that's when it's been real tough, he's really been outnumbered, or they've had their claws in'im an 'questioning' him – yeah, sure they have, dozens o' times, but he always gives them the slip eventually, though you mustn't ask me how he does it. Dammit, will you shut up an' listen kid, I'm tellin a story here! Do you want to know the tale or not?

Good. As I was sayin', when it's been though out there, he's worse than usual. An' there was this time, see, when we were out in the field, like now, an' he'd joined up with us, an' although, you know, he's always got that _'am I bovvered?'_ attitude going on, I could tell it's been one o' those times, cos he was all perked ears all the time, an' Dag had a patching job like you wouldn' believe that evening.

An' then, ye know, it's time for gettin' a bit o' shut-eye, an' when it's cold, like now, we always sleep back to back, an' we big strong lads'll usually pair up wi' one o' the scrawny ones, as 'im, or yerself for that matter – hey, don't take it like that, kid, I'm sure you can outrun me any day. But anyway, we always pair up like that, cos otherwise gods know you skinny weaklings'll just catch a cold, or freeze to death or somethin' durin' the night.

So Gawain an' Tris lie down, back to back, an' I volunteer to take the first watch, an' sit wi' me back to the fire so I'll be able to see properly, just in case there's some woad we 'aven't caught who's out feelin' all high an' mighty.

An you know Gawain, the most mellow lad there ever was, save p'raps when Lance gives 'im a go, haha, but that's another story, you know Gawain, right? Most _reliable _lad in the world, an' that night he's fast asleep, back to back wi' Tristran, an' then 'e has one o' those starts, you know, when you're almost gone an' suddenly it's like you're fallin' down a high cliff or somesuch thing.

I'd just turned into the circle for a moment to put another log on, so I happened to see it. Gawain gives one o' them little starts an' next thing, WHAM, Tris is on top o' him, an' that big mean knife o' his right at Gawain's throat, an' his eyes like there's a red mist in'em, like he's some wild beast or somethin' an' not recognizin' who's in front o' him.

Well, Gawain, poor bugger, he just lies stiff as can be, tryin' to not piss 'imself, or at least that's what I'd 'ave done if it'd been me.

As it happened though, I was the man on the watch, so I shouted his name, Tristran's name, I mean.

Woke every'un up, it was right a kerfuffle that was, an' Tris 'imself, once he got to his senses – I don't even think he'd awoken properly until I called out at him – Tris was just the most wretched thing you ever saw, dead quiet an' lookin' all tortured an' not wantin' to look Gawain in the eye or anythin'.

Anyway, things cooled down, an' Gawain bein' Gawain, he forgave all of it without a second thought, damn fine lad that one is, an' come next day we proceed further west, makin' a circle to finally bring us on course back home, whilst chekin' that everythin' is as it should be.

So, it's evenin' again, an' Tris has been off doin' whatever it is he does, an' as far as we can see, he's none the worse for wear this day, though he's still skittish, an' Dag has 'is trouble gettin' him to sit still while he has the patchin'-up changed an' stuff.

So come evenin', Gawain lies down back to back wi' Tris once again, p'raps makin' just an offhand joke 'bout 'is comerade wi' the quick knife-hand, an' Tristran's eyes darken a bit, you've seen when they do that, right? But he lets it go, an' we all go to sleep except Lance, I think it is, who has the first watch.

Now, this time they sleep peacefully enough, until the point where Tris's had 'is watch an' Uwain wakes up an' realises he hasn't been awoken for his shift, an' he gets up an' sees the Thing just sittin' there, starin' into the night with no sign of sleepiness about his person. So Uwain tells Tris to shove off an' get some sleep, an' Tris complies, in that sullen way he has about it.

Now, I myself slept, so I din' see all of it, but Uwain says next turn was Gawain, an' bein' that those two're brothers, they have some kind o' whistle-signal back from when they were kids which they sometimes use in stead o' their names, an' Uwain whistles, see, an' Gawain wakes up all fresh an sits straight up, an' this, as I understand it, is where things go awry.

I meself wake up because I hear Gawain screamin', an' I look around to see who's been murdered, an' there he sits, lookin' not-so-hot, wi' Tristran's big mean hunting knife neatly planted in 'is thigh.

It was after that night that Tristran took to movin' over to the side, stickin' to himself an' his cloak to stay warm at night.

Someone suggested he at least be close to the fire, but he won't hear mention of it cos he's so damn paranoid he says he can't see if some'un's comin' if 'is eyes get all lazy from the firelight.

So he curls up, like that, an' he's done it ever since, curlin' up an makin' himself hard against the cold, as I imagine he's doin' when he's out there alone. An' sure enough he's always still alive an' the first to wake up the mornin' after.

I don't really think he can sleep any other way any more.

Yep, always one eye open, that's our scout, an' the best any cataphract ever had he is too. So you best remember what you promised me when I started tellin' this, Galahad. One peep out o' you 'bout this, an' I'll have your guts fer garters.

You wanna know what _I _think?? There's a first, kid... I'm not sure I know what to answer to that one.

But very well. You wanna know what I think, then I'll have to say I think it's important we keep talkin' to 'im. Even though he's completely impossible, an' I'll grant you he is, in many ways, though I know Vanora says she wouldn' trust anyone else wi' makin' sure I wasn' hurt, save, of course, Dag.

But you see, I think it's what stops 'im from becomin' an animal. Us, the horses, even that bloody bird o' his. We keep talking to him.

I don't really think it matters much what you say, or that he doesn't reply. Just make sure you keep talking to him, kid.


End file.
